As usual I take too long to write. Too much time has passed.
I’m avoiding writing about UPT. It’s too hard. It is always changing. I’m not
sure how to help you understand just quite what we are going through because I’m
honestly not sure I understand myself.
It started with long hours and studying. At some point they added in
flying. From what I can see across his face at the end of every day, it’s
thrilling and exhausting. In the way that every dream has come true but every
muscle in your body hurts. He has worked
hard and balanced family as best as he can. There is so much more to it. A fine grit that is not easy to pass through
my fingertips to the computer and directly to your heart. The relationships built are deep and
hard. They will forever feel a little bit
more special and sting a little but more.
We have laugh and loved. We have grown and learned. All while the long
hours wear us down and plant tiny seeds of hope that one day this training
process will be over and we will finally be where we are supposed to be. That’s
funny though, because it’s fleeting. Upt
will end but more training will begin. A new assignment, new friends, a new
village but again it will be for a season. Turn turn turn. ( Fade out to The Byrds… I’ll
give you a moment).
KK is finally T6 complete. It was a roller-coaster of sickness
and weather but in the end… the thunder held off. Phase two of pilot training
ended on the most beautiful day starting with Track select and ending with
dinner by the lake with the sun glistening.
I’d love to say that every dream has come true. I’d love to tell you
that if you work hard anything is attainable.
Please continue to dream. Continue to work hard even if the dream you
think you want never moves from your heart to reality. Sometimes the dream you think you want isn’t
part of the master plan. I will tell you, we seek fervently not the dream we
think we want but that our dreams align with, and our hearts have peace in,
where Gods plans take us. There have
been more than a few hard examples in our married life where we begged God for
something very specific. Something we thought our hearts needed. Things God did not grant us. I remember one
specific time regarding a military assignment that left me in bed for a whole
day crying. I thought I knew what I needed, what I wanted. God knew better. In
the end, each and every time the road split and we traveled in an unknown
direction, with our GPS in our hearts screaming “ROUTE RECALCULATING” the destination
was ALWAYS infinitely better than our tiny hearts could have ever
imagined. I know looking back I will see this moment in
our life on this same list. From the moment,
I met my soon to be husband, his heart was determined to be a fighter
pilot. I wish I didn’t have to share
this. I wish that I could tell you, OF COURSE WE SECRETLY WANTED T1s. I would
not be honoring my commitment to honesty here.
He, WE, really wanted T38s( fighter track). We buried the idea deep in
our hearts. We treasured it and truly believed if he worked hard it was
possible. There were a series of things
that led to this class receiving less fighter track slots than we were
expecting. There’s so much that goes into it. The entire class killed it. They
worked so hard. So many were deserving.
There just wasn't enough for everyone. Very few active duty slots were
ultimately given to this class. The ones
that were, were undeniably deserving of the slots. It’s such an easier blow to
take when the people that DID get the slots were the right people. When hard
working honorable people finish first it’s hard to be heartbroken about it. Mourning the loss of a dream in our hearts
does not diminish the joy we have for them attaining theirs. KK received his track to the T1. This track
leads to flying bombers and heavies/ cargo planes. There is sooo much good to be said for this
track. We have many many good friends
that are from this type of air-frame and love it so much. We have taken a brief moment to steady our
hearts. I don’t think that it’s wrong to
have a moment to mourn the loss of a dream as we recalculate for the next step.
We want to dive head in with excitement and anticipation for the future holds
in this new recalculated dream.
For now, KK will finish out the program here in MS. The plan
is to graduate in the fall. At that time. He will sort through the available air-frames and turn in a dreamsheet listing in each air-frame available in the
order desired. Many things go into the actual “who gets what” and how the
assignments fall but once again we trust in the process and will be at peace
with the decision made. Please pray
that we keep that fresh in our hearts. Pray for all the residual life items
outside of pilot training. We don’t get to do this thing inside a bubble
guarding our hearts from the rest of the things life throws at you. Pray for
relationships, health and healing. Pray for focus and rest. I know that we don’t get the opportunity to
connect with all of our family/ friends near and far as often as we should.
Please be patient with us as we press on through this training process. We love
you even from afar.
