It’s raining outside. I’m snuggled up to my pup ignoring a
pile of clean clothes that need to be folded. In California, I’d cancel all my plans brew a
nice cup of coffee and curl up on the couch for a movie. Also, rain is not a
thing there ( or it wasn’t when I was there.) so that was rare. It’s been
raining all week here in Mississippi. How weird is that?! It’s the first week
of kindergarten for kk and it’s POURING ALL WEEK.
There are plenty of things I need to be doing. My kitchen
table is piled high with shirts that need to be made, the sink full of dishes
but the quiet house and the sound of rain just begs my soul to open up. I’ve started witting y’all more than a handful
of times in the last few months. What to share? How much to share? A lot has
happened but much of it is pretty raw and not very pretty. Are these the things
you want to hear? The things I want to
remember? I think so. If I’m being truly
honest with myself these ARE the things I want to remember. Yes yes yes… remembering that I got inNout
AND magnolia cupcakes from Waco is fun (#outandsnack) but what I want to remember is the way
our hearts have settled into the T1 lifestyle. We’ve cultivated it and let is
surge with hope and excitement.
The last I wrote y’all, it was right after track
select. It is now one month and 5 days
until the next big thing, DROP NIGHT.
(1month, 5days,9hours and 17 mins…. But who is counting right?) KK is working hard on flying, planning,
studying, graduation details and what not. T1derland is lovely as UPT can be. I
mean it’s still UPT. The schedule has
been all over the place. KK is a hard
worker but with that comes a lot of long hours.
It’s one of things I love about him but it’s a double-edged sword. I
really kinda like that guy and always wish for more time with him. In the words of a good friend, “it’s the
worst when you love them so much.”
The kids are growing. Like weeds. Make.it.stop. please and thank you. kk has started kindergarten. He loves it. Every
minute. I love that. Time has flown and I am just in awe of how amazing he
is. Little Miss is outrageous. Not a
single thing she does is anything but vivacious. I think We have a lot of parenting in store
for us to guide this strong-willed Goldilocks into the can’t stop won’t stop,
no holds bar, productive young adult. If
you see her, reminder that kindness matters. Every chance. You. get.
If you have talked to me in the last month you will already
know I’m “reading” (well……I’m actually LISTENING to while I work out),
Bob Goff’s Love Does. There are many
many things about it I love about this book but the thing that got me the most
this week was “words launch us.” Words
matter, Guys.
Whether it’s the words of a stranger that tare you to pieces
spinning you off into a hurricane of a mood or the admiration of a friend that
sees your heart and speaks directly to your soul. Words launch you. What inspires you? what is pushing you? and really, what words have you let hold you
back? I can tell you words have had a
HUGE effect on my experience here.
Some words change everything. It has been a very hard year
but much of that difficultly was not UPT itself. It was the interpersonal
aspect of this type of community.
Personal growth is always good but growth doesn’t come without some
growing pains. I’m not sharing this for
your sympathy. I want you to know, to hear deep from my heart, that your words
matter. You have the power to shape the
world around you. On a small scale in your home to a large scale … the world
around you. Your neighborhood. Your community. Your church. Your squadron. Your workplace. Choose your words carefully.
I want to share some ways that words have launched me in the
last year. Some are ways other people’s
words launched me in good and bad ways but some are going to be words I should
have chosen better. I should have considered more the raw hearts of my audience
before choosing to speak the word so frivolously. Words matter.
-Relatively early in our UPT experience I
had words spoken to me that challenged my integrity. The situation doesn’t matter. The person it
came from didn’t matter. Only that the words that were used tore jagged holes
into my fragile hurting soul. Integrity
is so very important to me. When you
chose to hold someone accountable, I really think we need to consider if we are
the right person for the job. If we really understand the situation and have
considered the outcome if we are wrong. This
particular incident I allowed the unfounded words to hurt me. I should not have
but I did. I wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes that means it’s not well
guarded. This launched months and months of hurt from all parties. The situation was frustrating but I learned a
lot about how I handle that frustration and how I can better direct that
frustration. None of this hurt should
have happened and was avoidable. I will
forever be changed by this interaction and the way I use my words. Sometimes we
need to consider the source and sometimes we need to search our heart before we
speak the hard stuff. Step out prayerfully and carefully.
-AETC. Air Education Training Command. For those of you who don’t know, this is the
training command that the student squadron falls under. My husband’s class has been SOOO very blessed with some phenomenal
leadership. This didn’t come from his class or spouses from his class.
Words matter. How the leadership and
instructors interact with students and their families matter. This job of shaping future pilots and the
future of the Air Force is an important one. Be firm but be choice. There IS a way to respect people AND instruct
them appropriately in a military environment. I fear that sometimes the mark is
missed here. In attempt to cultivate a hierarchy between the students and
permanent party the line is sometimes crossed. Not a single student here is stupid. The exact
opposite. This is an incredibly competitive field. Every. Single. One of the
students is brilliant but most likely inexperienced. The words you use with
them will launch them. Teach. Guide. Correct. INSPIRE. But let’s be discerning
on the way we treat students and cultivate a culture of mutual respect in all
areas.
As
for spouses and families: enlisted or
officer families. Newlyweds or not. Babies in tow or not even a twinkle in
their eye…. Every single spouse and family member has sacrificed to be here to
support the incredible mission their student has in front of them. Treat them
with the respect you would your own grandmother. They have earned it. No
exceptions. As we say in our house, Each and every one is an “honored guest”.
Consider the support you have received from your people. These are the very
same to someone else. Let’s treat them as such.
-Truth.
Speak the truth with love. That is such a hard one. Emotions run high in pilot training. For so
many this is their first experience with the military, moving away from home,
family and community, or any of the many hurdles that being a pilot in training
(or milspouse ) entails. Sometimes this means words that would otherwise have
no baggage might bare heavy weight.
Words can so easily cut deeply even without ill intent. I know that I have not always chosen the
right words at times or unintentionally hurt someone with words I thought were
just words but were carrying a heavy weight. I do regret these words.
On the flip side, Let’s have some
grace with each other. Take a step back and believe the best (not the worst).
Let’s assume that there isn’t ill intent.
More often than not are interacting with good willed people. The minute
we step back and gain some perspective we might find that we are loved.
-Lastly, I sat
the other day with a fellow milspouse. Every word swelled in my heart. We talked for a few hours about life. It is
so good to sit with a new friend and feel understood. The kind words of encouragement were just
what I needed in this moment. Do you see
the good in others? Please tell
them. Don’t miss that moment. Send an
encouraging text, fb message, or email. Thank them. Be honest and transparent.
Sometimes just a few small words change everything. Be that light in a hard day. We all need that.
Just in case you missed it.
WORDS MATTER. Let’s build each other up.
Launch each other. Be intentional
with each word you choose and have grace with yourself and others if the wrong
words come out.
